Blog 1

I’ve realized since nobody is on my website anyways, I can use this as a pseudo diary. This is my first post.

I’m scared of myself, and I’m scared for myself. This might seem like an oxymoron but I feel like I can’t trust myself anymore. I had an incident yesterday, and I don’t know why. I’ve never had something like it before but it was terrifying. I suppose I should say what it was, so here we go. I think I may have had a psychotic break. I don’t know exactly, I haven’t seen a therapist in a while and I’m no psychologist, but from what I can tell I think that might be it. I was at work, and it was slow. This is fine, it’s slow decently often. I got in an “argument” with two of my coworkers, lets call them Rhonda and Rebecca. I argue with them pretty often, we have personalities that clash, but we’re still friends, so that wasn’t anything. It started raining and I went outside and just stood in the rain. I don’t do this very often but it seemed like the right thing to do. Then the sink broke. The tubes that connect it to the drain got disconnected and I was spraying water all over the floor. I cleaned the water up, I went downstairs, and I cleaned up down there as well. Then I didn’t report the faucet. I always report breakages when they happen but I didn’t do it this time. I’m not sure why. I was going to get my tips and leave, but my tips weren’t ready. So I just left without counting tips. It was 20:30 at this point and I was still feeling alright. Then I got in my car.

I should mention at this point that I was listening to music. It wasn’t any new music, some of the oldest on my playlist in fact, but I was listening to music. It was Poor Man’s Poison, very good band, I quite recommend them if you haven’t heard of them before, but I digress. I got in my car and I started to pull out, but as I turned, I had something of a decision, and I peeled out much faster than usual. I started driving, but I didn’t start driving home, instead I turned left, and went straight. I was going too fast.

I’m sorry but I can’t finish this right now. I might be back to do it another time but I can’t keep writing right now.